I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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