Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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