Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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