I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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