she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
