Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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