I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
