I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I will be naked everywhere
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
