i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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