Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
