i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
