omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
