I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
