he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
