just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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