we need to drink 2009 down the drain
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
