Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
