the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
