I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
