Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
