By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
