And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
