You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
