imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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