Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
