So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
