So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
