would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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