Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
this will be a night to untag.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
