I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
