I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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