The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
