hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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