went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
