hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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