I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
