Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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