Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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