Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
