what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
