Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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