I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
