Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
