there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
