i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
