Small penises have feelings too.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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