I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I think my moral compass just broke
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
