Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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