It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
