Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So vagazzling was a success
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
