Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
