I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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